Nervous

Yes, I'm a little bit nervous.

You see, I used to be a big worrier and have a fair amount of anxiety. I still am and still do a bit. But when I became a Christian (16 years ago this October) God started working on my heart. And so it's been 16 years of God teaching me to lay down my fears and to trust Him. I have experienced that peace that passes understanding. If you knew me in high school or college I have no doubt that you would notice a difference and yet I'm also still very much a work in progress.

I believe that God doesn't want us to be afraid. However, I do think that there is an appropriate place for concern. So the last few days I have been feeling a bit concerned (yes, maybe a little nervous too). It's because we are all sick. Lily's ear problem and apparent stomach virus has now turned into a nasty little cold that has infected the rest of us. Eli and I woke up Sunday feeling sick (with Joe rafting it was a looooong day).

Lily is doing well, but still a bit sick. More concerning to me is that she is complaining now that her ear hurts (the one with the failed ear tube). She's already on antibiotics so I'm hesitant to take her back to the doctor again (after last weeks doctor visits and ER trip). So I'll give it a few more days, but I am concerned for my baby girl and her left ear.

And I'm also concerned for Eli. After having a bad case of RSV when he was so young we have been told that as a result any illness he gets is much more likely to turn into a respiratory problem for him. And so it did the last (and only other time) time he was sick since RSV. In May he got a cold (again, just like the rest of us) and he developed bronchiolitis. So, when he woke up sick on Sunday and I could begin to hear and feel the gunk in his chest all those feelings from back in the spring when he was in the hospital came rushing back. Thankfully he seems to be doing okay. He is a stuffy, snotty, sweet little mess but the gunk seems to be coming out of his nose instead of staying in his chest and for this I am incredibly grateful. Of course it's only been a few days and thus we aren't out of the woods yet.

So yes, I am a little concerned/nervous for my babies. Please pray for them and for complete (speedy if possible) recoveries. I'm so grateful that I don't have to fear. So grateful that I can lay them in the loving hands of the One who loves them even more than I.