Monday, February 13, 2012

What Our Future Holds

Tomorrow (Valentines Day) would have been the due date of our daughter Joy.  When we first lost her it seemed so hard to believe, almost impossible, that I wouldn't be holding her in my arms on Valentines Day.  And now, oddly, it seems almost as hard to believe that I could have been having a baby tomorrow.  And either way my life is not what I would have expected if you asked me a year ago.  I was thinking about that this evening and remembering once again that I don't know what my future holds.  As much as I love to plan and hope and dream I am a fool to think that I am ultimately in control of my future.  Sure, God has given us much freedom and I have much influence and responsibility over my life but I am not the one who controls it or guides it's course.  I am grateful that a year ago I didn't know what the year would bring.  And now, as much as I would love some direction and to know the course of our future I have to trust that still to the Lord.  I can, and should, make plans and prepare so long as I hold those plans loosely with an open hand.  This could be a big, eventful year for us- but truth be told I don't really know.  But I know the One who does.

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