Tomorrow (Valentines Day) would have been the due date of our daughter Joy. When we first lost her it seemed so hard to believe, almost impossible, that I wouldn't be holding her in my arms on Valentines Day. And now, oddly, it seems almost as hard to believe that I could have been having a baby tomorrow. And either way my life is not what I would have expected if you asked me a year ago. I was thinking about that this evening and remembering once again that I don't know what my future holds. As much as I love to plan and hope and dream I am a fool to think that I am ultimately in control of my future. Sure, God has given us much freedom and I have much influence and responsibility over my life but I am not the one who controls it or guides it's course. I am grateful that a year ago I didn't know what the year would bring. And now, as much as I would love some direction and to know the course of our future I have to trust that still to the Lord. I can, and should, make plans and prepare so long as I hold those plans loosely with an open hand. This could be a big, eventful year for us- but truth be told I don't really know. But I know the One who does.
No comments:
Post a Comment